Jones Towers

Vestiges of advertisement painting on upper storey of building...

Tue, 21 May 2013 09:10:00 -0400

Vestiges of advertisement painting on upper storey of building on London Road.

Photo

Fri, 17 May 2013 10:42:00 -0400

Old shop sign uncovered by development work, Dale St.

Wed, 08 May 2013 11:01:16 -0400

Old shop sign uncovered by development work, Dale St.

Birthday Breakfast, courtesy of the utterly incomparable...

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 06:00:42 -0400

Birthday Breakfast, courtesy of the utterly incomparable notalwaysthequietone. Also featuring two beautiful handmade cards and lots and lots of Vaughan Williams. Marvellous!

In the spirit of Craig Brown's One To One...

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 11:17:09 -0400

Paul McCartney made an album with his brother, Mike, who was in The Scaffold with John Gorman, whose nephew was in a band with me, who was in a band with Mathew Denley, who was in a band with Mel from Sidi Bou Said who spent some time as a member of Cardiacs.

Day Twenty Six. Be Here Now. Z. Be Here Now is perhaps the least...

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 11:59:59 -0400

Day Twenty Six. Be Here Now. Z.

Be Here Now is perhaps the least fondly remembered Oasis record. Not because the group didn’t make worse records – they did – but because this seems likely to have been the one that reached the greatest number of people.

Perhaps in time the album will be reappraised; indeed, there are ways of describing it even now which make it sound at least interesting: a band feted beyond any reasonable sense of realism, six minute long songs, hundreds of guitar overdubs, great arrays of instruments of all kinds. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if there wasn’t a zither in oh shit.

Day Twenty Five. The Sumatran Rhinoceros. Y. Total numbers of...

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 09:01:00 -0400

Day Twenty Five. The Sumatran Rhinoceros. Y.

Total numbers of the Sumatran rhinoceros could be as low as two hundred. This would mean that if one had started 2013 with a vow to kill one of them each sunrise, the whole lot would be wiped out well before one got to August.

This would mean that for the remainder of the calendar’s run another species would have to be found. To give the plan a neatness, it would be best to find a species with 165 specimens remaining.

This would allow one to dispatch the final one on 31^st December 2013, before entering 2014 refreshed and renewed.

Day Twenty Four. John Le Mesurier. X. John Le Mesurier excelled...

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 09:02:00 -0400

Day Twenty Four. John Le Mesurier. X.

John Le Mesurier excelled at playing Sergeant Wilson, the ex-public school officer in BBC Television’s excellent Dad’s Army. Initially expected to last only six episodes, the series was born out of expediency; a hole had been left in the schedules by the cancellation of Dr X’s Admixtures of the Galaxy.

Given the role by an expectant Jimmy Perry, himself an ex-services man, Le Mesurier leapt at this chance to return from professional exile, foxing critics who adhered to the axiom about dogs and tricks.

An exultant viewing public welcomed Le Mesurier back onto the screens as the next big thing.

Day Twenty Three. The Birmingham Campaign. W. The Birmingham...

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 08:49:00 -0400

Day Twenty Three. The Birmingham Campaign. W.

The Birmingham Campaign launched on 19^th November 2005 and had as its aim the notion of getting Birmingham recategorised as a lake rather than a city. The reasons for this remain unclear to this day. Being possessed of a cathedral, Birmingham is rightly recognised as a city, and a prominent one at that. Commentators have speculated that the cash-strapped burghers of Birmingham City Hall may have calculated that, as a lake, the city could access European fishing subsidies far greater than the funding it received as a metropolis. Alas, all records relating to the proposal became lost to the floods.

Day Twenty Two. Parks and Recreation. V. Parks and Recreation...

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 09:38:54 -0400

Day Twenty Two. Parks and Recreation. V.

Parks and Recreation premiered, as Wikipaedia points out, at 9pm (EST) on 4^th August 1928, on the first day of America’s public radio network. Out of a total of fourteen wireless sets in the United States, it is estimated that a total of eight tuned in for the first episode.

That opening instalment was rather different from the Parks and Recreation we know today, with the cast consisting of wooden puppets. Additionally, while today’s show is renowned for its satirical humour, its 1928 iteration took a more tragic bent, centring on the woes of a farming family in the dustbowl.

Day Twenty One. Hurricane Carol. U. When the cyclone hit, I was...

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 12:13:56 -0400

Day Twenty One. Hurricane Carol. U.

When the cyclone hit, I was playing snooker with my Grandfather. He was delicately going to take a tricky pink, respotted on the black position spot, when the windows began to rattle. I commented at that time that this seemed strange, as we were in the basement. The old man listened intently as the ghastly noise grew and grew. Once I’d stopped talking we listened to the wind for a while. Balls began to move inexplicably on the table. Impossible trick shots arranged themselves and were resolved. As the table tilted, every ball on the table potted itself in order.

Day Twenty. Princess Victoria of Hesse and by Rhine....

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 12:07:05 -0400

Day Twenty. Princess Victoria of Hesse and by Rhine. T.

‘Princess? Call for you.’

‘Bugger. Where’s my mobile?’

‘On your bureau. Why are you asking for your mobile?’

‘Call for me, you said.’

‘Yes – someone’s calling you. On secured landline.’

‘Ah. No need for my mobile?’

‘No. No need for your mobile.’

‘Why would someone call me, I wonder?’

‘Challenging query. Perhaps some news has occurred?’

‘No news for year. And now someone calls me.’

‘Equally, may be a media enquiry.’

‘Media enquiry? When I suffer gravely while some horrid…’

‘Unhelpful, carrying on you know.’

‘Hard, you know. Back years ago, I could have…’

‘Years ago? Decades ago.’

‘Oh.’

Day Nineteen. Maya Angelou. S. Maya Angelou ululation never...

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 09:05:10 -0400

Day Nineteen. Maya Angelou. S.

Maya Angelou ululation never relaxing gave Evadne Evan no opportunity yet told dreadful lie.

Every year riding, galloping, gigantic creature. Evadne (emollient to Oliver Ritman) named damnably yielding, getting great traction; not telling.

Grim malingerer redacting grand delirium motivating grandmother Rachel. Lent tailed dully, yet time eventually yellowed.

‘Did Daniel lay you, Uffington?’

‘No. Only your retinue.’

Enervated, Daniel left town.

Night. Tramp. Prebendary. Yearling. Gone ‘ere even noticed.Dalziel littered Denton Burn – no other relic can notate. Evidence elected dual Libran nomad. Drinking gander fat, traced dealing good-domed denizen, noted dour reaction.

* * *

‘Not taking glaciation normally? You’ll leave eventually.’

‘Yeah?’

Day Eighteen. Thomas C. Kinkaid. R. The chimney of Thomas C...

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 08:31:43 -0400

Day Eighteen. Thomas C. Kinkaid. R.

The chimney of Thomas C Kinkaid’s bungalow had gone almost a decade without being swept and, as a man who habitually had coals blazing day and night, the aging seaman decided to call upon the skills of a sweep. The telephone book supplied the contact details of a suitable-sounding candidate and at noon the following day, Kinkaid squatted in the house’s hallway, waiting.

A silhouette loomed at the smoked glass, with what looked like chimney cleaning implements in its hand. The bell sounded. Kinkaid’s eyes widened.

‘Go away!’ he shouted, in a voice whose youthfulness shocked even him. ‘Fuck off!’

fireandmiracles: Harpo was always the coolest Marx Brother.

Thu, 04 Apr 2013 11:56:16 -0400

fireandmiracles:

Harpo was always the coolest Marx Brother.

Day Seventeen. Neville Cardus. Q. Neville Cardus’s seat in the...

Wed, 03 Apr 2013 11:51:59 -0400

Day Seventeen. Neville Cardus. Q.

Neville Cardus’s seat in the Tavern Stand at Lord’s was so marvellously warmed by the sun that the aging scribe would often nod off during an afternoon’s overs.

His greying head buzzed with memories and vague imaginings; the deliveries of Larwood paced to a Vaughan Williams adagio, or Bradman swiping away a flurry of crotchets.

It was becoming increasingly difficult to keep the two sides of his professional life separate in his mind. Perhaps he ought to devote his time fully to one or the other.

What would Sir Thomas Beecham say?

Asleep in the neighbouring chair, Beecham snored, oblivious.

Day Sixteen. ?. P. I wondered at first if ‘?’as the day’s...

Tue, 02 Apr 2013 11:51:05 -0400

Day Sixteen. ?. P.

I wondered at first if ‘?’as the day’s featured article was evidence of an All Fool’s Day joke. It’s hard not to think that this wasn’t unintended by whoever selected it as the day’s article. After all, Good Friday saw an image of the crucifixion as the highlighted article, so it would seem that some effort is made to link featured articles with the day in question. Having clicked on the question mark, I was edified to see that it actually referred to a film focusing on interfaith relations in Indonesia. And what must be the site’s shortest article title.

Day Fifteen. Crucifixion and Last Judgement diptych. O. Many...

Tue, 02 Apr 2013 10:50:21 -0400

Day Fifteen. Crucifixion and Last Judgement diptych. O.

Many experts latterly believed that this painting was initially a triptych and that its third panel had, in time’s swell, been misplaced. The diptych’s dual surviving panels depict Jesus’s death and the Final Judgement. If there is a missing panel, it is believed that it features thirty eight Welshmen (in typical dress), arriving at the scene in a dilapidated Austin Seven. This is a scene which has eluded all the evangelists but in which Jan van Eyck was a fervent believer. An intriguing clue in this mystery is van Eyck’s 1438 canvas ‘Arrival by the Many Unheralded Welshmen at Calvary’.

Day Fourteen. Cold Feet. N. Fay Ripley arrives at the studio...

Tue, 02 Apr 2013 08:58:01 -0400

Day Fourteen. Cold Feet. N.

Fay Ripley arrives at the studio shortly after daybreak. She quietly stalks the corridors while she glares, eagle-eyed, for tracks left by her co-stars. The cages to which they are restricted betwixt takes gleam as if their steel bars are regularly polished. They are.

Fay scopes the whole of the corridor. It is devoid of life. She crosses to the smallest cage. Hers. The heel of her boot is hollowed out, home to a complicated piece of kit which works to disable locks.

A short while later, Fay Ripley walks furtively from the studio complex. Today will be the day.

Day Thirteen. Big Two-Hearted River. M. I’d always lived in that...

Wed, 27 Mar 2013 12:16:00 -0400

Day Thirteen. Big Two-Hearted River. M.

I’d always lived in that area – that was where I was born and where I grew up. I hoped to possibly raise a brood there. Until that day.

Once in a while you are presented with what looks like a perfect opportunity – dangling right there in front of your nose. What would you do? I did it. I reached out and held on for all I was worth.

Anything for a chance to have a different life. It was painful at first, of course. Within a flash, I was in a different world.

And then?

I got filleted and eaten.